I have been working in long term care facilities and health care centers since 1983. I was 17 years old and a junior in high school when I got my first job as a laundry aide in the same nursing home my mother worked at. She had worked there as a nurse’s aide for years while my siblings and I were younger, and when we were old enough to help out around the house, she worked full time nights and put herself through nursing school during the day. I would watch her when we worked together and the love that she had for her patients, the compassion and the empathy that emanated from her was beautiful in so many ways, and I knew that I wanted to be just like her. She was my mentor and she taught me how to take care of people the way that they deserved to be cared for.
Me and my mom
My first nursing assistant position was on the dementia unit of a long-term care facility and my training consisted of a 2 hour orientation, a tour of the facility and instructions on appropriate uniform attire. It was mid-July, a particularly hot summer day when I walked off the elevator that first day, and the air conditioners in the entire building were not working. The first thing that I noticed when I walked onto the unit was the strong smell of urine that hung heavily in the hot summer air. I was given an assignment and was told to forget whirlpools for the night because there had been a few call-outs. Whirlpools? I didn’t even know what that meant! I had 20 residents to put to bed that night on a total care unit. There were several Hoyer transfers and 90% of my assignment were sitting in chairs, tied up in some sort of restraint, whether it was a pelvic, waist or vest restraint. Haldol was the physician’s drug of choice that year and every single resident on the unit was snowed, which made transferring extremely difficult, especially since it was only me and one other nurse’s aide, and she was on the other end of the hall.
I remember how terrified I was that day. I had never seen a man naked and suddenly I was changing men that looked my grandfather, I was shaving them, I was feeding them, I was washing their privates!!! I had no idea how to wash a man’s penis, never mind a catheter tube! Not even a smidgen of training and I was responsible for this sort of care?
I remember the first time a patient fell because of my lack of training. I remember her name and I remember the panic as I screamed for help. After several minutes of screaming for help I realized nobody was coming, the adrenaline kicked in and I picked her up off the floor and put her into bed. No small feat for a 116 pound teenage girl who was running on fear alone at that point!
I remember my first skin tear and the amount of blood that was everywhere. I remember the first time I shaved the very wrinkled face of a man and the way my hand shook each time I passed the cheap plastic razor down his cheek. I remember the first time I had to give someone a whirlpool and how I had no idea what to do when the person on the bath chair became increasingly combative. I remember the first time I walked into a room after someone had died and being very afraid to touch him when I was told I had to clean him up before they took him away. Again, no training. I was working on instinct alone.
We used green cloth “diapers” with snaps on each side and elastic leg bands. We restrained everybody when they were sitting in their wheelchairs and then lined them up along the halls and around the Nurse’s station. Nobody was toileted, there were no “activities” and everyone ate pureed food – mashed potatoes, green stuff and brown stuff.
In 1987 it became mandatory to become certified if a person wanted to work in nursing homes thanks to the Omnibus Reconciliation Act, and had it not been for the fact that I was in nursing school at the time, I would have been “grandfathered” and would not have received any training. Despite the changes in policy, funds were not available for training programs. It wasn’t until the early 90’s that CNA training programs began to appear in facilities as part of the hiring process.
Over the years, as my children were born, my experience as a CNA broadened. I worked for an agency that placed me in facilities all across the county so that I would be able to work full time and still be available for my children. I became Rehab Certified and it was then that I learned proper techniques in transferring with gait belts, as well as many other skills that have become vital in the care that I provide for my patients/residents today. I became MAP certified (Medication Administration), Restorative Aide Certified and in recent years have become certified as a CNA II which has given me extensive training on skills including oxygen therapy, urinary catheters, fecal impaction, sterile dressings, and suctions just to name a few.
My husband
In 2007 my husband, who was only 40 years old, was diagnosed with end stage melanoma which had spread to his lymph nodes. I used my years of training and education to care for him, and despite the emotional toll that it took on me as a person, I was determined to give him the best quality of life, no matter what. Numerous surgeries that completely and totally disfigured a once vibrant, athletic man resulted in wound care and several dressing changes each day, radiation and chemotherapy left the man I loved even sicker rather than help him, and finally, it was time to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to get well. My Mom and I talked daily on the phone, with her guiding me, supporting me, offering me words of encouragement and advice, and when she felt that I was strong enough, she told me it was time to begin letting go. I learned at that point, what Hospice is, and with great trepidation allowed strangers to come into my home and teach me what it meant to allow the man I loved, the father of my children, to die with dignity and respect. At the age of 41, my husband died at home, with me by his side. A day that I will never forget. A day that changed the way I understood the meaning of what being a caregiver truly meant.
In 2016 my mother, my mentor, my idol, my Rock of Gibraltar, had a massive Myocardial Infarction, followed by a severe stroke. I drove 23 hours (1050 miles) to be by her side and cared for her around the clock for three weeks right up until the day she died. Every ounce of my energy went into taking care of her the way I had seen her care for her residents over the years, and when she died, I know in my heart she was proud of the daughter that she had trained to follow in her footsteps.
My mother-in-law
At the same time that my mother had gotten sick, I was caring for my late husband’s mother, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and lung cancer in 2013. Two weeks after my mother passed away, I brought my mother-in-law to live with me. I had made a promise to my husband that I would take care of her, and when the time came, I stood by that promise. I took college courses on Alzheimer’s and Dementia, its epidemiology, and how to best provide customized care for anyone experiencing symptoms of Dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. I became Support Care Certified in order to provide her with the best possible care as her dementia worsened and her health declined. I set up the perfect environment for her, complete with hospital bed with air mattress and any other medical supplies and equipment that may be needed. When the time came, I had the knowledge and understanding that was needed to bring hospice into our home, and I knew how to provide the palliative care she needed. Less than a year after caring for my mother as she gained her angel wings, I sat with my mother in law, holding her hand, as she, too, gained her angel wings.
Making a special birthday
Mine is not a sad story, nor is it a story to be told with tears of sympathy. Mine is the story of a Certified Nursing Assistant’s journey through time. Over the years, as I have worked in numerous health care settings, cared for people of all ages and ethnic backgrounds, at every level of need varying from rehabilitation from motor vehicle accidents to end stage leukemia, and I have learned that my role as a CNA is tantamount to the quality of life that each person I care for has. I have also learned first-hand how difficult it is to be the “family member” and today I am guided by compassion and empathy whenever I walk onto any unit. I care for each and every person as if that person is a member of my family, I respect the family equally, and I never forget to let them know how important they are. I kiss foreheads good night as I turn the lights out at day’s end, I sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow as I am giving showers, I bake birthday cakes for the ones who have no family to celebrate another wonderful year, I work holidays and weekends, I work doubles when staffing is short, I hold the hands of those who are nearing the end of their life story, I dance, I cry, and I love the fact that I can care for those who need it without a second’s hesitation.
My name is Kim, I am a CNA, and this is my story.
Kim your blog/story is amazing! You make all CNAs proud!
Hello Kim just wanted to tell u how a incredible person u are, I’m CNA as well n been in the field for 7 years or so but ur amazing story is n inspiration of what a truly a human being should be n I thank u for that what we do for this people doesn’t make us unique but rather empathetic to those who needs us, n their needs n what really matters is that at the end of the day it’s the greatest fulfillment n love of all that makes us who we are n what we do that’s priceless, u have done a great job.
BEAUTIFUL!! Couldn’t have said it better than that my friend. I’ve been an RN for 32 yrs. but I worked in long term care in the same place as a CNA for 10 yrs before I became a nurse. I love my job. I love my mom more than anyone in the world just like you. I treat everyone of my patients as I would my own mother. And if I can make a patients last day like it was the best day of their life or that they make a difference, and care for them with a caring heart loving soft and gentle touch, empathy and dignity , I feel that I’ve put my stamp on their heart. God loves you and blesses you for the special person that you are. I’m sure u have touched a lot of people. It won’t go unnoticed. Thank you so much for your story and yes I was in tears. Diann Bohall RN
Hi. I am trying to interview nurses and VNA’s for a non-profit organization. If you have the time a couple of questions to ask, can you please contact me at shakiarichards84@gmail.com
Thanks Kim for your story! I Pray
One day that people see us how so much more than “just a CNA “ and see that we play a big role in people’s lives. But I want be holding my breath on that because CNA’s get know respect in the health care field. So the day I see change it that I Would over the moon with happiness. I just don’t know if that day would EVER come! God bless all in you do as My Fellow CNA!!
Hi! Kim, while I am reading your beautiful inspiring story, you made me cry. I admire your dedication into your job as well as your family. You are an amazing human being in the planet. I will carry your story as as long as I leave. Because I know in 5 months time I will be a CNA like you….You are a great role model to all the CNA’s thank you for an inspiring story.
Kim you have made me cry.God will truly reward you for your dedication and commitment.
Thanks for sharing your story. .I am a Registered Nurse for over twenty years. But was a CNA before I became an RN.
I was a CNA before I went to nursing school. Same as Kim, I got not training, I was hired and put to work. Being a CNA was the single hardest job I have ever done in my 25 yrs of working. I was underpaid and overworked. But, it was hands down the most fulfilling work as well. It was actual nursing care. The good CNA’s , I am convinced, have a special place in Heaven. I haven’t been in a position to work with CNA’s in several years. But , any time I do have the opportunity to, I am mind blown at all that I learn, the tricks and smart ways to do things that they learn out of necessity. I cannot sing your praises enough, Kim for the work you do.
Kim, I found this while looking for an agency to provide care for my loved one. It’s a struggle to find anyone dependable enough to even show up. You are a true blessing to all those you’ve helped. I am sorry to say that I know that you are the exception and not the rule. It’s so sad that people take this job thinking it’s easy and just a job. My daughter is 33 years old she is intellectually and physically disabled. My job started the moment she was born and has never ended. Now my own health has gotten so bad that I can’t care for my child. I’m struggling to find an agency to provide adequate staffing. If I could just find someone with half your compassion my prayers would be answered. I guess God intended for me to see your story, possibly for me to hold on to the thought their is someone out there for my girl. Thank you for telling your story.
Wow ,I am finally glad someone I can relate to we need to talk girl I am so proud of you thank you for sharing your story
Kim is her name and she is a amazing cna !!!!
Wiw, i can certainly relate Kim. I’ve been a cna for 30 years and I’ve had so many of my residents pass in my arms that i lost count. I’m now a live-in home care aid and still loving every minute of it!
Kim you are truly amazing, as I sit here with tears in my eyes, I think of my own journey thru my CNA career. I have been blessed to be able to touch many lives throughout the years. Our stories are somewhat the same. I am proud to be a CNA. It was my true calling that’s for sure.
Thank you all for your kind words in response to my story. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to read it. We are all on the same journey, just taking our own paths. I look forward to seeing you all in August!!!! <3
Thank you for sharing your story and experiences as a CNA, daughter, daughter in law and wife. You’re living out God’s purpose in your life and for that you’re blessing the lives of the sick and aging. Although I began career as CNA 35 years ago I went another direction but my grandmother, mom and sisters all CNA care. My mom was called a death angel as she held the hand of many who passed. My grandmother retired as a CNA and never had a driving license. My mother passed this year and my CNA skills resurfaced as I cared for her at home and eventually she was transferred to my sisters work location the final months of her life as she was an acquired hemophilia. There my sister and I were by my mom’s side to enjoy the still bright and lovely moments left with mom. CNA work is not a job but a gift so thank you for following your gift!! After mom passed I decided not to return to my prior career but I’m now working around the aged and dementia community where I can be a light in their day! God Bless from another Kim .
Hi Kim,
I have a loved one in assisted living and have seen first hand the wonderful difference that competent, loving care can make to the patient and the family. And now I get to present a session for an assisted living facility in our area and when looking for inspirational stories I found yours. And I am going to use it in my presentation. Thank you, be well, keep up the beautiful work.
Hi my name is Kim also and I understand everything you been through I to am a CNA of 15 year and I love my patients and my job. We share similar experiences I have taken care of my grandmother and parents while working 12 hours it’s a hard job but someone has to do much respect and love
Hi Kim, you are a remarkable person for what you do. But then so are many the world over that do this kind of work. I have been a CNA for thirty years. I was 31 when I started in this field, after raising four children. I started at a head injured facility and the way I got trained was hands on by another aide. I got trained, it took six months, the teacher worked with me(cause I still had children at home to care for) to get my cna degree and that year the state required nurses aides to have a license. That was 1988. Just like you my motto when I started was that I thought if I were in their place how would I want to be treated and so I with empathy and dignity treat each and everyone I care for with love and respect. It is a hard work but very rewarding. Bless you for all that you do and for your story.
I was so touched by your story as a CNA, next week I will be starting my journey as a CNA and I’m very nervous about it. I hope I can make a difference in someone’s life!
Hello Kim!
Wow! This is a very inspiring story! You are an amazing person for taking a really good care of your loved ones and patients. The world needs more people like you!
-Natasha